Feeling very Stevie Nicks–“climbed a mountain and turned around” –a la “Landslide” today. It has been three months since I’ve started the blog, and I’m feeling reflective. Three months of writing every day–with the occasional meager sentence or brief paragraph. It has been a labor of love, and I have no intention of stopping. But what I’m realizing is that I still have so much to learn about writing, about patience, and most importantly, about confidence.
Last night, before we went out for dinner with friends, Ben and I were pushing against an Eastern Standard Time deadline for a creative non fiction contest. It wasn’t an issue of leaving it to the last minute…though it certainly looked like it. I didn’t get struck with writer’s block, which has become less and less a problem. It was more an issue of not feeling capable, or somehow unworthy of being an appropriate candidate. But, I pushed forward, worked diligently on the piece over the last week. Last night, I sat at my desk, reading aloud, combing through each sentence with my husband. And then I sent it…and I felt so much relief, not because it was over, but because I actually submitted. Whether I win the prize, or am even published (though both would be nice) I am out there trying to make it happen. No one will do it for me–and I’m not getting any younger, and as Stevie says–” time makes you bolder…and I’m getting older too”. She wrote that song before she was famous, about whether to pursue a career in music. And aren’t we all glad she didn’t become a dental hygienist? People drift towards where they are meant to, and I hope that the landslide brings me down to a better place…where I occasionally get to sling a tambourine and dress like this.