Fat Elvis Blues

Boy oh boy do I not have it in me to write today.  It’s been a two-job-day, with a meeting in between, and now it is after dinner–butter chicken and red wine, and I’m warm and cozy…but I’ll persevere…for the next minute and a half.  Wore my chic new black dress today to work…of course, I always imagine how good an outfit would look on Kate Middleton, and then feel undoubtedly disappointed that it doesn’t have the same effect on me.  Feeling almost relieved that the weather is still cool.  I like the layers.  I’ll miss the layers.  Winter time, with all its comfort food, inactivity and booze has left me feeling a bit like Fat Elvis, and I’m just not sure I’d suit the sparky jumpsuit.


The hot new looks in springtime fashion is Leather! Mint! Floral! Funky Pants!  You do not want to see me in ‘funky pants’…nor do you want to see me in shorts.  Especially those itty-bitty numbers you are seeing a lot of these days.  And that ain’t me babe…I’m like Diane Keaton, I like to be well-covered…happy in a turtleneck in the middle of a heat wave.

Image   I love black–I’m with Nora Ephron and Morticia Addams on this one…I have so much black in my closet, I’m like an Italian widow.  Though I’ve never been one to turn down a pattern or a frock, my standard day to day attire is: black, grey, jeans, leggings and scarves.  I don’t even wear jewelry, just plain gold hoops and my wedding band, and a watch that I wear on occasion.  I used to be such a flashy broad, now I like to keep it simple, easy, classic.



Summertime is approaching and soon I will be wrenched from my layers.  This means more cardio and less carbs, and that all sounds very unpleasant.  But I have a plan.  I’m going to single-handedly bring back the 1920’s bathing suit.


But then again, I’m not getting any younger, I really should “make an effort”.  Maybe I’ll start with three half-hearted jumping jacks, maybe a little jog around the block…tomorrow…or next week…as soon as I have finished this enormous loaf of bread.

7 thoughts on “Fat Elvis Blues

  1. Kim

    I also love the summer turtleneck. I once went for lunch with a good friend, and a friend

    • Kim

      It cut me off!

      Her friend I hadn’t met. It was August. In Kamloops. I wore a smart set turtleneck (this was probably around the time we worked together!). He thought I had cancer. Or aids or something. He couldn’t understand why else I would wear such a thing in summer!!

      • aliciaashcroft

        Haha, that’s awesome! I’ve worn a wool scarf in August myself, you really are a gal after my own heart x

  2. jess

    Hahahaha that was amazing… Totally understand what you mean… Carbs are my worst enemy

    • aliciaashcroft

      See, carbs are my ‘frenemy’, because for a minute we’re having a good time, laughing and eating, and then suddenly the carbs are like: “Girl, you’ve gotten fat”x

  3. Jojo Hagan

    At a recent family gathering, my 3 year old nephew suddenly started giggling, pointed to his cousin’s girlfriend, and said “she’s wearing no pants!”. Well, close – short shorts actually! Thankfully teenagers have the legs for it – many people don’t, but still wear them …

    • aliciaashcroft

      You are not kidding! Sometimes it’s a little breathtaking, the look of some of these gals! x


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